


Russia's Greatest Love Machine

by Dresupi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Attraction, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Disguise, F/M, Fade to Black, Flirting, Kissing, Mutant Powers, SHIELD Agent Darcy Lewis, Undercover, Undercover Missions, Undercover as Married, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: Piotr and Darcy are undercover as a married couple.  Piotr's disguise is one he rarely uses: his human form.Everything starts wearing on them, however, causing a potential flub in the mission.It's a good thing Darcy likes Piotr in any form, because she wouldn't put up with these shenanigans with anyone else.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Piotr Rasputin
Comments: 24
Kudos: 98
Collections: Burning Through the Sky (1970s Song Prompts)





	Russia's Greatest Love Machine

**Author's Note:**

> This one was prompted by a Tumblr anon, but the song is 'Rasputin' by Boney M. 
> 
> Enjoy! (Also here, have my moodboard I made for inspiration)
> 
>   
> 

“Hey, could you zip me?” Darcy held her hair up off her neck and turned around, putting her back towards him. 

Piotr’s fingers felt unnaturally warm and even though she’d been looking at him for the better part of four days already, it still didn’t really scan that he was in his more human-y form. She was so used to seeing an eight-foot-tall metal man that the six-foot even flesh-and-blood version sometimes gave her a jolt of reality-juice. 

Especially when his hands were so warm. 

They were undercover. Undercover as a married couple in Moscow. And they were headed to some fancy-schmancy shindig for the well-to-do people in the city. 

Piotr’s disguise consisted of being constantly in his human form, which he generally wasn’t, so no one really knew what he looked like. That included Darcy, apparently, who’d had to do more acting in the past four days than she ever thought she’d have to in her SHIELD career. She wasn’t an agent. She was a techie. But they needed a techie to find the intel. And she needed a meat shield as opposed to a metal one, so here she was, getting dressed in a slinky silver floor-length gown beside Piotr, who still had yet to put on his tie. 

His fingers brushed against her skin as he zipped the dress for her. The action gave her tingles. Much like it did every time he touched her. Metal or no. 

She dropped her hair, watching the ringlets fall and bounce on her shoulders as she took in her reflection in the mirror. The dress was low cut in the front, revealing ample amounts of cleavage and side-boob. More ample than her eyes were prepared for, as she widened them in direct response to her outfit. She wasn’t expecting Nat to pick something so very va-va-voom, even though she knew that the target, their target, the one with the laptop she needed to crack was a sucker for boobies. He was definitely going to be distracted by Darcy that evening. 

Hell, Darcy would have been distracted too if she wasn’t always sneaking glances at her partner. 

Piotr’s head still cleared hers at his shorter stature, and his eyes were stunningly dark and glittery as he caught her eye in the mirror. His hair was messy, and he ran his fingers through it briefly, but the mess fell in just the right places. It worked. 

He was a very pretty man. He was attractive no matter what form he was in, but since this was the one in front of her and this was the one she was less attune to, she was going to keep making observations. 

His gaze was heated when he looked at her, but Darcy really couldn’t unpack _that_ right now, especially if it was just in response to her dress. Anyone would look good in this dress. Hell, _Steve Rogers_ would look good in this dress. She wasn’t taking a compliment like that with any weight whatsoever. 

“How’s your back?” she asked, arching an eyebrow and barely suppressing a giggle when he scoffed. Rolled his eyes and turned away from the mirror to fasten the cuffs on his shirt. 

“I already told you, I did not hurt it,” he reiterated, fumbling on one of his cuffs in his haste to get the words out. 

“You hurt it a little.” 

“You weigh barely anything, _Kiska_ ,” he assured her. 

“I weigh exactly one-hundred-forty-five pounds, and I’m proud of every ounce,” she countered. 

“Exactly. Barely anything,” he said with a sniff, releasing his wrist once he’d finally fastened the button. “I just forgot I wasn’t my usual size. That is _all_.” He spoke the last word with such finality, that Darcy almost dropped it. 

Almost. 

Her ability to troll knew no bounds. 

“You totally dropped me. Yelled and clutched your back,” she reminded him. “And if that wasn’t enough, the reason you scooped me up in the first place--” 

“Hush your noise,” he said abruptly. 

“Hush yours,” she continued. “Nobody, and I mean _nobody_ picks someone up to transport them over a puddle. An offered hand to place my own in to ensure I don’t slip would have sufficed. More than sufficed.” 

He sighed, shaking his head and reaching for his suit jacket. Almost as if he was resigned to the fact that she was going to keep talking and he had no way of stopping her. 

“But _no_ , that’s not good enough for Mr. Buns of No-Longer-Steel over here. _Nooooo,_ you have to try and _pick my ass up_ and take me over the puddle. No normal person would ever think to do that.” 

“ _I_ do that normally,” he countered. “I’ve done it for you many, _many_ times and you’ve never complained.” 

“Okay, because maybe the fact that you were eight-feet-tall and made of metal kind of softened the blow of weird. Put on your tie, doofus.” 

“I am no doofus. And I hate that thing. I am already boiling with my X-Suit on under this monkey one. Now you want me constricting my throat as well.” 

“Take a good look at what I’m wearing and tell me again how you’ve got the bum end of this deal, Piotr.” 

He certainly took long enough letting those dark eyes of his drift over her body and linger in certain areas. 

“Dude,” she countered, unable to stop the smile from pulling at her mouth because while this sort of thing would normally make her mad, with Piotr, it seemed good-natured and well… sort of nice, considering how he usually kept her at arm’s length. Lately, since he was supposed to be her husband, he’d been treating her as such. In public, at least. She’d be a liar if she said she didn’t enjoy it. 

He smiled. “Sorry. Yes, I see your point. But your throat isn’t in any way restricted. Just… pointing it out.” 

“Put it on or we’re not going.” 

He grumbled under his breath and Darcy reached for her purse, slipping into her shoes and making for the door. “I’ll be waiting for you when you finish.” 

* * *

The fancy shindig was already well underway when they arrived, but they’d arrived just shy of fashionably late, so that wasn’t any surprise. She sighed deeply, glancing over at her companion. 

Sans tie. 

Because there was no way in hell Darcy was going to take him on when they were already late. 

He was already walking towards the elevators when she noticed he wasn’t wearing one. 

And honestly, he looked care-free and handsome without it. But she wasn’t about to admit he was right. The best she could do was annoyed silence, so that’s what she gave him. 

He slipped his arm around her waist as they made their way to the club’s entrance. 

Her dress glittered and clung to her legs as she walked. So many heads turned to gaze and gawk at her. 

Like, if she wasn’t absolutely certain that all these men ( and _some_ women) were staring at the ladies, she might have been flattered. 

But as it was, she was already trying to focus on her job. Which was flirting with, leaving with, and sneaking onto the laptop of their targeted billionaire. 

His name was Morgan. Something Morgan. Morgan something? She couldn’t remember. Other than he looked like discount-sale Zuckerberg and made some kind of targeting software that he had sold to the Russians. 

He wasn’t American, but she couldn’t really place where he was from. Sokovia, maybe? Somewhere in Eastern Europe. He still had a touch of the accent when he talked. 

She’d already caught his eye a few times in their previous meetings, but this dress was sure to grab him. 

Darcy reached down to pry Piotr’s hand from her waist, giving him an annoyed look and stalking off. 

It was all part of the undercover opp. They were clearly having a tiff about something, which was why she would find Morgan alone and he would “prey” on her vulnerability because he was some kind of a sickening jerk. 

But she was kind of betting on that jerkiness. It was going to get her onto his laptop, where she could clone the hard drive and send it remotely back to SHIELD. In addition to the targeting software, he had some other stuff on there that was of intense interest to a fuckton of people. 

She made her way to the bar, ordering a glass of cranberry juice with a slice of lime so it looked like she was having a cocktail. She could feel eyes on her from every direction. She felt on display. That, and she’d never really had this much air on her ta-tas in public before. It was a little weird and disconcerting. The bartender brought her drink and she took a small sip, winking at him and turning around. 

She stuck her chest out, breathing in an overly exaggerated way to make her breasts rise and fall with every breath. 

It didn’t take long for Morgan to spot her and saunter over. 

“Why aren’t you on the arm of your husband?” he asked, leaning across the table. “If you were mine, I wouldn’t let you out of my sight.” 

Gross. But whatever, it was what she needed. 

Rolling her eyes, she chuckled. “Look, I got sick of him suffocating me. I needed a break. How about you? Where’s your lady-love of the evening?” She arched an eyebrow coyly, trying not to vomit as she eyed him up and down. 

“Alas, I find myself all alone this evening,” he mused ruefully. 

“Maybe we can keep each other company then,” Darcy purred, leaning closer. 

Morgan’s eyes hadn’t left her cleavage in a good ten seconds. It was like he was trying to see all of her at once. 

He opened his mouth, his eyes dark as he finally looked up into her eyes. “Why don’t we--” 

“There you are, kitten,” Piotr boomed from her other side, his arm slipping protectively around her waist as he pulled her close. Away from Morgan. Even though what he was doing was largely against what they’d practiced, she couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit relieved. 

She shot him an incredulous look, but it didn’t damper his enthusiasm at all. “What are _you_ doing here?” she asked. 

“I came to apologize, darling…” he said, his gaze flicking back and forth between her and Morgan. “I couldn’t bear to leave things the way we did. Please. Come with me and let me make it up to you properly. _Kiska_ , I implore you.” 

That was the code phrase. The sign that he was pulling her out. 

Darcy sighed heavily, not wanting to cause a scene and allowed Piotr to lead her out of the ballroom and back down to where the valet had their car. He gave him the ticket and Darcy fumed silently while they waited for him to retrieve it. 

They slid into the car and she rounded on him. 

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” she hissed. “I had him.” 

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you,” he replied. “You wouldn’t have made it back to his place.” 

“We’ll never know now. And we lost our chance to get in unnoticed,” she lamented. 

“Your life isn’t worth the intel,” he replied, tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear before pulling out into the street and heading back to their hotel. “I’ll go in and steal it if I have to. I’m bulletproof.” 

“Not like this you aren’t.” 

“I wouldn’t go in like this. In this squishy, forgettable, soft form,” he sneered, glancing up into the rearview mirror and narrowing his eyes. 

“Hey, I happen to like this form,” she countered, settling back into the seat. “I like your other form too, but I like this one as well.” 

His cheeks reddened slightly, but he didn’t respond. In fact, he attempted to look everywhere except at her, which included the rearview mirror. 

“Hush,” he commanded, even though she hadn’t said anything recently. His eyebrows rose as he took a sharp left. “There’s someone following us.” 

“I know you’re in a hurry right now to be the hero, but there’s no need for the rudeness,” Darcy fumed. 

“Noted,” Piotr replied, stepping on the gas and cutting to the right again. There was an alley in front of them. Barely big enough to squeeze the car through, but Piotr seemed to know what he was doing. 

They drove down the length of the alley, Darcy gripping the ‘oh shit’ handle for dear life, and using her other hand to ensure the ladies didn’t pop out to say hello. 

He slid the car around to park, reaching for the top button of his shirt. “Stay in here, and get down,” he commanded. 

Darcy did as she was told while Piotr proceeded to revert back to his metal self, causing the shocks in the car to groan with the added weight. He stepped out, and the car bounced behind him. 

She sent coordinates to her Agent Hill, hoping like hell someone came soon. 

Darcy wasn’t sorry that she didn’t see everything that happened, due to being crouched down in the floorboards. What she did see was enough. She saw things hitting the roof of the car and some dude’s leg went through the windshield. You know, par for the course on one of these missions. 

Finally, Piotr was opening the door on her side and helping her out, his silver skin melting back into the soft olive that she definitely still wasn’t used to. 

“You finished busting these guys’ asses?” she asked. 

He smiled a little. “I suppose you could say that.” 

Their debrief went fairly smoothly, and the long and short of it was that Morgan had suspected something the second he met them. Piotr’s instincts were correct when it came to what he had planned for Darcy. She shuddered to think of what would have happened if he hadn’t been there. 

But the intel hadn’t been lost, and they had Morgan in SHIELD custody. 

Oh and she and Piotr weren’t married any longer, so they could fly back to the States and go back to their lives. 

For some reason, that last part made her a little more disappointed than she thought it would. 

They were riding to the private airstrip to catch a quinjet back home. 

“Is that your dress?” he asked, none too subtly as they walked from the car to the plane. 

She glanced down at the slinky silver number she was still wearing. She reached up and peeled off her fake eyelashes. “Yes, actually. They are letting me keep it.” 

“How uncomfortable is it?” 

“Not that bad if I’m not around a ton of people. I mostly feel on display.” 

“You look good in silver,” he said softly. 

“So do you,” she replied. 

“Is there any chance I could see you in it sometime soon?” 

“But Piotr, we’re not married anymore,” she teased. 

“You and I are on the same page,” he stated, in a very matter-of-fact tone. “I’d like to peel that thing off you.” 

“And I want to let you,” she whispered. They were nearing the quinjet and all this thirsty chatting had to stop once they were inside. 

“ _Kiska_ , I’d make it good for you,” he practically purred. 

“I know you would.” 

“Can I see you again? In the dress or out of it?” 

“Definitely,” she said with a grin. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll let you see both.” 

She stepped up onto the jet and she felt, rather than heard his groan as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into his arms for a kiss. 

If the quinjet pilot saw, they didn’t let on, bless them. Because that kiss? Goddamn, that kiss was something else. Definitely more than he’d been giving her undercover. It made her knees wobble and he was practically holding her up. The wind picked up and blew her hair around her face as he ended the kiss, his hands still clutching her close. 

She felt his fingers toy with the zipper on her gown, teasing her because she knew damn well he wasn’t going to tug it out here in public. She couldn’t help but think back to when she’d asked him to zip her up earlier in the evening. 

The next thing she was going to ask him was to unzip her. Funny how things went full circle like that. But first, they had a helluva frustrating flight back to the States. 


End file.
